Slechte voorspellingen
De toeristische sector richt zijn pijlen op de weersvoorspellers. Zeker op lange termijn zijn de voorspellingen in juli en augustus niet accuraat, klinkt het. "De Kust heeft een microklimaat met minder wolken, minder regen en meer zon dan in andere regio's in het land. Onnauwkeurige voorspellingen hebben zeker voor de Kust een grote economische impact."

Oftewel, vanaf heden schijnt aan zee enkel nog de zon!

Idioten, ze kunnen zelfs niet samenvatten welk weer het is geweest, laat staan dat ze zouden weten wat er morgen gaat gebeuren...

Onnozel voetbal commentatorken op 2BE, hou uw bakkes!

From:Mrs Glad Swarin

Lot 10 bp 225 Williamsville.

Abidjan,  Cote D' Iviore.

Tell:+22547925114

 

Dear One,

 

I am Mrs Glad swarin in Abidjan cote d' Ivoire, I wish to solicit for your help in migrating to your country and invest my funds briefly,

 

I am a Sierria Leonean nationality and a wife to the late Dr. Maxwell Swarin untill his death, my husband was the general overseer of the diamond mine in kanema Sierra Leone,  On  April 6th 2000, the military forces loyal to the government of Ahmed Tijan Kabbah invaded the diamond mine, and ssasinated my husband, mistaking him for his brother Mike Swarin who is the deputy to the leader of the revolutionary united front ( R U F) Foday Sanko, when the news reached me, I huriedly gathered some valuables in our family villa and escaped for my dear life in company of my only son Paul, among the valuables was a file that contained details of a deposit my husband made in a security company in Abidjan Cote d' ivoire ; He deposited fifteen million united states dollars ($15,000,000.0) U S D  in  a trunk box with this security company as precious stone, in the name of our only son Paul and the money was made from sales of gold and diamond during his time as the general overseer.

 

Now we are in Abidjan and has verifiedn the deposit with security company. I have decided to look for a good enterprenure to whom I can entrust this funds to after which we would arrange to meet with you in your country.We need your assistance to move this funds out of Cote d'ivoire for investment in your country, as we can not invest here due its nearness to our country.

 

If you would assist us in this regard, we ask for your professionalism to look for a viable and lucrative business, so that we can invest wisely. We have it in mind to give you 15 percent of the total funds and 20% percent share in any investment you would embark upon.

If you would assist us, we would also set aside 5 % percent of the funds for ancillary expences which you might incure in the course of this transaction. The fortune we have revealed to you should remain confidential as it is only you and we have told about it,on reciept of this message for futher directives. Note that this transaction is hundred percent risk free.

 

You are by reason of this email requested to forward your particularsto us  in other to submit it to the security company as the beneficiary and would give you the contact of the security company to futher your claims immediately, so as to transfer the funds in your account. 

 

I am eagerly waiting for your urgent response, You can get back to us through this Number :+22547925114

 

May God bless you.

 

Best Regards

Mrs Glad Swarin.

After six years, Todd D. couldn't take the tedium anymore — his company refused to change with the times, and Todd wanted something more engaging. Seeing an opening at a publishing company, it sounded like the ideal change. He'd be going from a big software company to a more progressive publishing company with a software department; a good place for him to show his chops and actually make a difference. He aced his interview, as did the company — they'd proudly told Todd that they were happy to work with cutting-edge technology, had brand-new hardware, and a near-zero turnover rate. It was a no-brainer for him to accept their offer.

As he was about to head in to his first day of work, he got a call from HR. "Hi, Todd? I forgot to mention the dress code earlier. You'll have to wear a jacket and tie." Ugh, he thought, wondering if his suit was in presentable shape. At his last job he'd show up in a t-shirt and shorts. I guess I'll have to go shopping tonight. He dusted off his old suit, found a tie that didn't completely clash, and hopped in his car. If having to wear a suit would be the worst thing about his new job, it wouldn't be so bad.

Arriving to the office, he was escorted to his new cube. His wooden cube. One of the owners' sons liked to work with wood and had been contracted to build several things around the office — all of the cubes, some shelves, some tables — all of which conveyed the feeling that one was working in a coffin with shelves. It sucked, but Todd could deal with it.

Next, he was shown the time tracking application, and introduced to the company's related policies. "OK, so you're just getting in, so you click here to punch in," the well-dressed woman from HR began. "And when you need to punch out, like if you're using the restroom or something, you click here."
"Wait," Todd began. "I'm supposed to punch out when I use the restroom?"
She chuckled, "of course! I mean, unless you plan on getting work done in the restroom! You have to punch out any time you're not working."
"So if I'm making a phone call?"
"You punch out."
"If I'm stopping by the snack machine for a candy bar?" Todd asked in disbelief.
"You punch out." She seemed to think Todd was a slow learner, while Todd just couldn't believe the absurdity of the policy. It was becoming clear that she thought they should both punch out for the discussion they were currently having. Ugh. That's pretty draconian. At least I'm salaried, he thought.
"Also," she continued, "you have to get forty hours of punched-in time each week. Otherwise you get docked or will have to make it up over the weekend."
...But I'm salaried, Todd thought. "And if I work more than 40 hours?" he asked.
"That's good; that's what we want."

She went on to explain what happens if more break time than is allowed is taken. That is, every day you get 30 minutes for lunch, 15 floating minutes for other breaks (bathroom, snack machine, etc.). If you needed more than 45 minutes, you had to get a special dispensation from your boss. In Todd's case, his boss was the owner's son, Quincy — who had never, ever given out a special dispensation. If you were on fire, you'd better finish your shift before you stopped, dropped, and rolled.

Todd was given internet access, but warned that it was closely monitored and that a lot of sites and services were blocked — for example all major free email services, all major news sites, instant messaging clients, etc. Todd later found a program that he could use to bypass the filter and access GMail, however.

As his training was wrapping up, he was asked if he had any questions. "Well, just one," he said, noticing that no one had left office supplies on his desk. "Where can I get a pen?"
"Oh, we'll have to get you one tomorrow."
This'll be good, Todd thought.
"Janice has the key to the supply cabinet, and she's only in once a week." Janice was the boss's wife. "She'll be in from 11:00 to noon tomorrow. I'll show you where the line starts."
He'd have to wait in line for the one hour window to get any office supplies. And if you missed the window, you didn't get any supplies — you should've planned better, slacker. Either wait until next week or buy it. After work. At your own expense. And to put the icing on the cake, you had to punch out while you were waiting in line.

After two weeks in his coffinlike cube, Todd and the other developers were summoned to the warehouse. As a publishing company, they had a lot of "magazine junk" that they sold — t-shirts, logo'd stuffed animals, hats, and other similar tchotchkies — and they were practically swimming in the crap.

"The reason I called you all down here is that we need to take inventory of all our promo items," his boss began.
"So why'd you bring all the developers down here?" Todd asked what everyone was thinking.
"The warehouse staff is busy fulfilling orders. Fulfilling orders makes us money; fixing bugs in our software doesn't. I'm going to need you guys to count and sort everything." Todd rolled his eyes, knowing that most of the warehouse staff were friends with the boss's sons and had probably leveraged that to get out of inventory duty.
Todd knew that protesting this would get him nowhere, as they already had a crappy work environment with crappy management. "Can we at least wear something more comfortable while we work?"
"...I didn't say anything about our dress code changing," the boss replied with a sinister smile.

All of the developers had their changes put on hold and started going through dirty, grimy boxes under the boss's unblinking eye. Todd's suit got covered in dust, cardboard fibers, and bits of tape, not to mention that everyone was getting sweaty in the hot warehouse in suits and ties, climbing up 20 feet of shelves (that had been cobbled together by the owner's son), carrying 50lb boxes of stupid crap that no one could ever want. Todd figured that his boss had a printout of OSHA regulations and had made it his goal to break every single one. By the end of the day, everyone's clothes were ruined (as were their spirits).
Todd was so fed up and pissed off that he decided he'd treat himself to the unthinkable — leaving three minutes early. He figured that he'd earned one hundred and eighty seconds of malfeasance, plus he couldn't take another minute of being sweaty and miserable in his coffin cubicle. All that he had on his mind was his frustration, and the desire to treat himself to a good dinner, a long shower, and an early bedtime.

The following day, Todd was called into his boss's office.
"Todd, do you know why you're in here?" Before he could answer, his boss continued. "You're in here because you left three minutes early yesterday. Why don't you walk me through what you were thinking."
Again, before he could answer, his boss answered for him. "I know what you weren't thinking. You weren't thinking 'I should ask for my boss's permission to leave early. I think I should be allowed to leave whenever I please.'" The voice he was giving to Todd's internal monologue had a nasally, sing-song tone.
"And," he continued, "you were also thinking, 'I shouldn't have to do any work. I should be allowed to use the internet whenever I want, however I want.' Yeah, we know you're looking at blocked web sites." He leaned forward in his chair. "Listen, Todd. You've got a bad attitude. It's almost like you don't like working here." That was the first thing he'd gotten right so far.

At this point, Todd decided to end the relationship by formally giving his two minutes' notice. On his way out, he suggested his boss do something anatomically impossible.

En we zijn met z'n allen naar d'Ardennen geweest...

http://www.owanneke.be/Foto/2008/Ardennen

We hebben een eerste slachtoffer! En geslacht dat er zal worden…

Vakantiechalet “La Content”. [sic]
Wat gebeurt er als een Hollander een chalet koopt in de Vlaamse Kolonie “Wallonië” en deze vervolgens verhuurt?

Omschreven als een luxepaleis met alle mogelijke opties die een mens kan wensen, spiksplinternieuw met alles erop en eraan…

Wel, wat betreft de ligging is het niet gelogen. Rustig in een doodlopende wijk, vlak bij het golfterrein van Durbuy, dichtbij het rustige Barvaux met voldoende activiteiten voor een weekje actieve vakantie.

De uitrusting van de chalet voldoet ook aan de beschrijving, of toch tenminste als je recht uit een of andere achterbuurt van Boejoemboera. In deze ruime chalet kan U met 8 personen verblijven, maar vergeet in dat geval Uw eigen bestek niet, want met 6 zit U aan de limiet van de toch wel zeer beperkte keukenuitrusting. Naast het bestek voor 6 personen, brengt U best ook Uw eigen groentemesjes mee, met de ter plaatse aanwezige modellen gaat U niet ver komen. Verder ontbreken ook drie kleine kookpotjes en twee vervormde pannen niet. Niet te vergeten uiteraard een vaatwas, enkel te gebruiken op programma 2 en een combi-oven met een defecte draaitafel.

Verder in het chalet vindt U de (lege) lakenkast met een gratis aangeboden fles wijn, of zo staat toch beschreven op de huisregels. Heeft U ze misschien gezien?
Daarnaast de eettafel met 6 plaatsen en 6 stoelen. Waar halen ze toch dat er 8 personen kunnen verblijven?

De slaapkamers, één met dubbelbed, één met twee enkelbedden en één met een stapelbed en een smal tweepersoonsbed! Eureka, 8 personen! Let wel, de smalle dekbedden zijn niet geschikt voor personen groter dan 1m75.

Dan hebben we nog de woonruimte met televisie met alle Belgische zenders, of toch, zo wordt weer beloofd. Ned 1, 2, 3, Veronica, CNN en andere nieuwszenders en de nodige pornokanalen.
VTM, 2BE, VT4, één, Canvas etc. zijn ook beschikbaar maar zien er redelijk zwart uit zonder geluid. Een oude videorecorder, alsook een licht beschadigde DVD speler zijn aanwezig, maar daarvoor moet U wel eerst enkele SCART kabels versteken om deze te gebruiken.
Het salon is praktisch ingericht. Er kan één persoon TV kijken en twee personen zitten met hun rug naar het toestel. Verder is er geen zitgelegenheid in deze ruimte.

Tenslotte hebben we ook nog de badkamer, bestaande uit een wasbak zonder stopje en een wiebelige douche waarvan de bodem tweemaal hersteld werd met zilverkleurige tape.

De hele chalet heeft noch temperatuursisolatie, noch geluidsisolatie. Dat betekent dat tijdens ons verblijf in augustus de avonden en ochtenden killig zijn, zeker in de slaapkamers waar daarenboven een vochtig gevoel heerst. Regen zorgt voor een oorverdovend lawaai dat normale conversatie onmogelijk maakt. Er zijn geen vliegenramen aanwezig, maar wel grote hoeveelheden muggen uit de omliggende pijnbossen.

Er is een overdekte autostaanplaats voorzien, deze is echter wel gevuld met een oude tweezit. Misschien kan U deze meteen in de woonkamer plaatsen, dan kunnen al meer dan de helft van de mensen zitten.

In de tuin vooraan is een zandbak voorzien voor Uw kleinste spruit. Vergeet niet eerst de braamstruik te verwijderen. Achteraan ligt een gezellig paviljoentje, beschermd door 2-meter hoge brandnetels en ander hoogstammig onkruid.

Alles samen een goed gelegen afrader. U kan beter iets anders zoeken in dezelfde woonwijk.

Jawel beste luisteraars,

vanaf vandaag hebben we weer een nieuwe categorie: de review.
Op deze gevreesde plaats wilt U Uw product niet zien staan, want de eigenschappen van het onderzoeksmateriaal worden nergens anders zo rigoureus gecontroleerd.

Dus verkoop U iets, biedt U diensten aan, heeft U een restaurant, verhuurt U een vakantieverblijf… wees gewaarschuwd, zorg dat U voldoet aan de beste kwaliteitseisen die de mens kan bedenken…

We've even specially translated the name of our restaurant...

Now that's what I call cleaning up your disk!

quote:

"Je mag de ISO waarde van je camera niet te laag instellen. Je kan dan meer foto's opslaan, maar ze zijn niet goed om af te drukken."

[sic]

Some bug was found in the latest release of Ubisoft's RainbowSix Vegas 2 game.

THey release a patch, as usual, only this time, some interesting info was revealed using a HEX editor...

OMG, did they just steal an illegal no-CD crack?

Limboooo, how looow can you gooo?

Opgepast! Handlinkse chauffeur zonder kennis van de Engelezische taal.

So, you were stupid enough to buy one of those hellhole phones...

Here's what you got:

Let's use it to surf...      ...for three hours

Speciaal voor Vegito:

50mm

500mm

The one and only, Sigma "Bigma" 50-500 EX F/4-6.3

Op deze foto ziet U Tom Boonen, na zijn drugs-afkick, in de voorbereiding van het BK 2008.

Hierzie, daarzie, een kapelleke ingehuldigd door nonkel Pastoor...

http://www.owanneke.com/foto/2008/Kitesurfing

Blijkbaar heeft er iemand zich geamuseerd met het maken van een website en werkt die nu niet meer...

Misschien heeft iemand bij hostbasket op een verkeerd knoppeke gedrukt, zoals wel eens meer gebeurt met de @antwerpen.be e-mailadressen...
Maar waarschijnlijk was het paswoord "paswoord" of "administrator" of "triangel"...

Sommige mensen zouden echt offline moeten blijven. Kan hier geen wet voor gemaakt  worden?

De <TITLE>-tag hebben ze procies ook nog niet ontdekt...